lizziemcganja:

friend: i’m getting mcdonalds you want anything?

me: i don’t have money

friend: it’s all good, i’ll pay

me:

image

image

trogdorthe-burninator:

daves-applejuice:

qodtiers:

i fucking looked up eggs with legs and i’m

image

why are they in a cage?

otherwise they’ll eggscape

thou shalt not be seen with a fuckboy unless he got money
— shakespeare (via bellisaro)

The best times to kiss a girl

abraesive:

When she’s babbling on about something. When you’re arguing. When you see her. When you’re with her. When you’re with your friends. When she cries. When shes happy. When she does something you love. After you ask her out. After she says she loves you. After you just kissed her. Before you leave. My point is, whenever you get the chance to kiss her, kiss her. It makes her feel loved. 

if you kiss me when we’re arguing i will punch you straight in the fucking jaw

manysidesofmyself:

excusemybrain:

Best response to the “are you on your period?” question goes to Leonardo DiCaprio

and still no Oscar

a-blog-named-slickback:

last-of-the-gallifreyans:

iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:

OH MY GOD STOP SAYING THAT DOCTORS SHOULDN’T SAY ‘IT’S A BOY’ OR ‘IT’S A GIRL’ AT BIRTH

IT’S NOT ABOUT ‘FORCING GENDER ROLES ON BABIES’ IT’S ABOUT ENSURING THAT THE CHILD GETS THE BEST CARE POSSIBLE BASED ON THEIR BIOLOGICAL SEX JFC

anyways what else would they say if they can’t announce boy or girl.

"it’s a thing!" 

yeah that’s not gonna work.

"It sure is a baby alright"

  • Male Rapper: *releases song about drugs and money and murder and theft and having side-bitches and disrespecting women*
  • Everybody: cool
  • Nicki Minaj: *releases song about butts*
  • Everybody: WOW WHAT A WHORE OH MY GOD NICKI MINAJ IS AWFUL WHAT A BAD EXAMPLE HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE DECLINE OF MANKIND WHAT HAS MUSIC COME TO OH LORD THIS IS TEACHING YOUNG GIRLS TO BE SLUTS I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS BACK IN MY DAY WE HAD GOOD MUSIC NOW THIS IS JUST A DISASTER EDEN HAS FALLEN AND SOON THE DEVIL WILL CLAIM OUR CHILDREN AND GIVE WOMEN THE ABILITY TO FREELY EXPRESS SEXUALITY IN THE MEDIA