friend: i’m getting mcdonalds you want anything?
me: i don’t have money
friend: it’s all good, i’ll pay
i fucking looked up eggs with legs and i’m
why are they in a cage?
otherwise they’ll eggscape
When she’s babbling on about something. When you’re arguing. When you see her. When you’re with her. When you’re with your friends. When she cries. When shes happy. When she does something you love. After you ask her out. After she says she loves you. After you just kissed her. Before you leave. My point is, whenever you get the chance to kiss her, kiss her. It makes her feel loved.
if you kiss me when we’re arguing i will punch you straight in the fucking jaw
Best response to the “are you on your period?” question goes to Leonardo DiCaprio
and still no Oscar
OH MY GOD STOP SAYING THAT DOCTORS SHOULDN’T SAY ‘IT’S A BOY’ OR ‘IT’S A GIRL’ AT BIRTH
IT’S NOT ABOUT ‘FORCING GENDER ROLES ON BABIES’ IT’S ABOUT ENSURING THAT THE CHILD GETS THE BEST CARE POSSIBLE BASED ON THEIR BIOLOGICAL SEX JFC
anyways what else would they say if they can’t announce boy or girl.
"it’s a thing!"
yeah that’s not gonna work.
"It sure is a baby alright"